You will always be Alone on the Spiritual Path
…and that’s not necessarily a bad thing
The great Orson Wells once wrote:
“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.”
Now, we could look at that and get a bit sad, and that would be totally understandable but the facts remain the same, we are born alone, we live alone and we die alone.
I remember years and years ago I worked with twins and while out on the beer one night I asked them something about how it must be a little intense to have someone who looks the same as you living a life like yours but differently.
One of them said something along the lines of it not being strange for them because that was what they were used to but he agreed with me that even though he was older by just a few minutes, he was born alone and will die alone.
It’s a bit of a depressing conversation to have. We have become terrible when it comes to talking about our ever-approaching and impending date with the Grim Reaper.
Forever alone?
For as long as I can remember I’ve felt the feeling of loneliness. I could be surrounded by friends or family or colleagues, or a mixture of all and I still can feel somewhat at odds with my surroundings.
It’s like I don’t fit in and have never fit in and will never fit in. And it’s something I’ve had to make peace with. But I think it just comes from the knowledge that my experience of life, while it may be similar at times, is never, ever going to be exactly the same.
The spiritual path
When it comes to spirituality I am always quite cautious when it comes to following the teaching of someone. Actually, I’ll put that in a better way, I’m always wary of listening to the teaching rather than the person that the teaching comes from.
We know all about the shady snake-oil gurus from yesteryear and the ones who used their position of authority to abuse their followers be they mentally, financially or, worst of all, sexually.
I’ve seen it firsthand in some of the spirituality and psychology groups I’ve been involved in over recent years.
Copycats
There always seems to be a cohort of people who desperately want to mimic the path of the person they are following, they seek out the same experiences, adopt the same turns of phrases, and even change their appearance to appear more like their guru.
They lose sight of the reason they’re on the spiritual path, self-actualization and instead of plowing their own furrow, they end up trying to follow in the footsteps of someone who’s gone before them.
Self-actualization just won’t work that way. It cannot.
This doesn’t mean we need to see ourselves as a victim/hero in this situation. Not at all.
As Carl Jung once said:
“An old alchemist gave the following consolation to one of his disciples: “No matter how isolated you are and how lonely you feel, if you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you.”
Just because we’re born alone, live alone, and die alone doesn’t mean we have to experience everything alone. It’s so important to make friends along the way and also to meet different teachers/gurus/mentors and to take their lessons and use their knowledge to help you find your place in the world.
Loneliness
We know from the WHO that loneliness is now of epidemic proportions and so we need to be doing something about that.
For me, that involved joining different groups and meeting people who share some of the same interests I have, learning from them, sharing my thoughts and knowledge too, and, as well, just being friends with someone for the sake of that in itself.
Not every human interaction needs to be of a transactional nature.
At the same time though, for as close as we get to people, our partners, siblings, children, etc. our experience will always be different. It may have a very similar flavor but because of our past experiences, they’re going to be colored differently.
This to me just goes to show the absolute uniqueness of human experience. And that’s a joyous and wonderful thing.
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